Reform Party of Syria (RPS)

Peace and Democracy by Moderate Majority Rule

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Mar 14th
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Home Satire Oh Dear President Obama

Oh Dear President Obama

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It is an honor to write you today to thank you on behalf of 22 million Syrians who are ecstatic about your new and rejuvenated efforts to engage with our President Baschar al-Assad of Syria.

We want you to know, Mr. President, that as a result of your policy much good has happened lately in the region. We believe that criticism of these same policies by the so-called Syrian experts is unwarranted. Indeed, actions speak for themselves.

For one, your engagement with Syria has resulted in much success in our human rights situation. All of the Damascus Declaration prisoners of conscience have been released unconditionally. Riad Seif is home being watched 24/7 by his doctors for ills he suffered in jail. Dr. Fida Hourani is back in her hospital giving her full time, as she has always done, to treat the poor of Syria. Dr. Kamal Labwani is also home enjoying time with his family having lost over 60 Lbs. while in jail. All the others are doing well even though lies about their torture keep circulating. But if we are certain of something, it is that President Baschar al-Assad, after your engagement with him, would never torture anyone anymore.

We are also grateful to you, Mr. President, because your engagement with Syria has resulted in much success in Lebanon. After the election win of the pro-west March 14 group, Hezbollah has finally capitulated, as a result of superhuman pressure on Assad. In fact, Nasrallah's own speeches delivered via his own TV station al-Manar show a humbled new persona facing the reality of your appeasement policies. Now that Hezbollah has accepted to relinquish its weapons, the Lebanese can finally sigh with relief.

The Lebanese are also happy to report that Hezbollah, because of Syrian interference (again, thanks to your engagement), has voluntarily breeched the much maligned Doha Agreement and asked that prime minister Saad al-Hariri form the new Lebanese government any way he sees fit. Everyone in Lebanon is singing your praise Mr. President, especially Hezbollah for having been shown the way to salvation and fortitude.

Furthermore, the Lebanese told us that all of the Syrian agents of destruction have left Lebanon. They left behind instructions to all their Lebanese cohorts and agents to serve the Lebanese Constitution first and foremost and forget about Assad ever dictating one policy or another to Lebanon. It is simply a miracle, Mr. President.

We are also happy to report that Iraq, as a result of your engagement with Assad, is experiencing another miracle of sort. Not one terrorist has crossed the Syrian border into Iraq to bomb its Finance Ministry or any other government buildings. In fact, when Iraq paraded on TV some unknown fighters as Ba'athist terrorists who crossed from Syria, it was done on a day most Iraqis consider to be like April's Fool day in the US. Everyone had such a good laugh, Mr. President.

Iraqis, in general, are elated that not one incident of terror against innocent Iraqi civilians has taken place in Iraq ever since you have engaged with Assad right after your inauguration in Jan. 2009 (Obama has begun discreet talks with Iran, Syria).

In view of your policy towards Syria, and in particular towards President Baschar al-Assad, we, Syrians, are honored to have you as President of the United States. All of our people trusted your Cairo speech to the Muslim world and you did not disappoint them.

We always knew that engaging with our unique President is the best policy because he is a man that can be trusted. All 22 million Syrians trust him blindly and that is why he earned 96.7% of our votes in the 2007 elections.

So, Mr. President, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of our heart for helping Syria halt all terrorism. Thank you for freeing our prisoners of conscience. Thank you for clipping the wings of Hezbollah through engagement with our Assad. And most important of all, thank you for turning our own President from a gun-touting resistant fool into a worldly leader worthy of your attention and sharp understanding of the Middle East.

Signed by:

Once Concerned, Now Delighted Syrians

 

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